Learning to meet women is possibly the most essential part of dating. Why is this? Its simple – if you never learn how to meet women, you will never get a date, have a relationship, have sex or get married. Its like learning to crawl before you learn to walk – learn the art of approaching women and your dating life will have a one hundred percent turn around.
So what are the keys to learning to meet women successfully? Some of the essential components include learning to read the female body language in order to gauge whether or not your approach is likely to be successful, training your own inner game to relay confidence, ways to promote conversation, how to use flirtation to augment attraction – to name a few.
The first key – learning to read the female body language – is especially important and is possibly one of the simplest things to learn. Many men over the years have realized that women tend to say one thing and mean another. This is not necessarily an attempt at deception – in fact, it is generally done out of complete ignorance of the true source of her own feelings. For instance – a woman may say she likes men who are tall. You are only 5′4″ – but don’t count yourself out. Why does she like tall men? Not necessarily because they have to duck to get in the car. It could be that tall men make her feel safe and protected. At 5′4″, can you do the same? Of course you can. Pay attention to her body language to find out what it is she wants.
On great way to get a glimpse of what a woman really wants is to pay attention to her eyes. Want a really simple way to see if a woman is open to an approach? Check out this little golden nugget:
The next time you go out, anywhere, make an effort to make eye contact with every attractive woman you see. I don’t mean fleeting eye contact, ducking your head with a nervous guffaw and turning away. Look into her eyes until she returns your gaze. When you have her attention and your eyes are locked, smile and raise your eyebrows at her.
If she smiles back, holds eye contact for a little longer, and looks away in that embarrassed manner that most women do when they start feeling attraction, then keeps looking back at you, guess what? She’s open to you meeting her!
On the other hand, if she displays no expression and looks away quickly, or of course displays some other disdainful expression or irritation, you would be wasting your time to approach her and get rejected.
Remember – learning to approach women will skyrocket your dating success, so quit being a wallflower and get out there and meet some girls today!
Many people agree that women are far more sensitive to body language than men are. I have to say that in my experience, women can detect all kinds of things from body language. Ask a female friend to describe what’s going on with a person by looking at them, and you’ll be surprised at all the information they’ll give you. So it follows that if women are so in tune with body language, you might as well get some of the basics together so you’re transmitting the right messages. My opinion is that women prefer men who are confident, bordering on arrogant. Most women will tell you that arrogant men turn them off, but I’ve found that if you mix humor with a little arrogance, it’s a killer. So how do you use your body to telegraph confidence? Well, first of all walk upright, hold your head up, and hold your shoulders back. Next, SLOW DOWN your movements and make slower, calculated gestures. Then, make eye contact and keep it when you see women. Don’t look away until they do and kind of squint while raising an eyebrow. I’ve done a lot of work in this area, and I’ve found that by SLOWING DOWN, I create mystery and intrigue. I literally practice slowing down my walk, my gestures, how fast I turn my head, how fast I talk, and even how fast I blink. Also, start taking up more space and opening up your physiology. If you’re seated, keep your legs and arms uncrossed. Keep your legs far apart and your shoulders back. Don’t lean forward; lean back. This might sound a little far out to some people, but these LITTLE details make all the difference when dealing with a woman. It’s amazing how fast most women can detect insecurity, neediness, and low self-esteem. I personally believe that when a man is self-confident (or more specifically, a woman BELIEVES that he is), women are attracted to him on an UNCONSCIOUS level. What I mean is that I think this behavior activates a part of a woman’s brain that can’t help but feel an attraction. If you’d like a model of confidence, watch some James Bond movies. You’ll notice that James almost never smiles, and I can’t remember when I’ve ever seen him laugh. But James is the sex symbol of masculine adventure. Does he do the things that I mentioned above? Of course. That’s where I learned a lot of them. Ha! Another way to demonstrate and project confidence is to PAUSE while you’re talking. Pausing on purpose creates suspense and tension. It’s great. If you combine pauses with serious looks, you will create an air of power and confidence. For example, you might say, “Well, if I were you, I’d just tell her what you think” like so… “Well… (pause) if I were you… (pause and look into eyes with serious look) I’d just tell her what you think.” This creates what’s known as a ‘subtext’ to the communication. On the surface you’re talking about the normal conversation. But underneath, you’re communicating suspense, confidence, and mystery. If you learn how to mix a seductive voice tone and body language with regular conversation, you’ll find that you can get women turned on talking about random things like the weather. Pause often. It will do wonders for your communication style.
Knowing body language does have some benefits, but I have to laugh when I hear certain “relationship experts” who tell you how to use body language to “appear” more confident.
Fact: Your body language is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you. Even if you are an expert in body language, if inside you are a bundle of nerves and low on confidence, it will show on the outside no matter how hard you try to hide it.
Just as an expert poker player can see the tells of the most polished opponent when a moment of uncertainty enters into their mind, most women will be able to sense insecurity and neediness just by the way you approach her.
Whether you believe in women’s intuition or not, they do seem to have a 6th sense that triggers some awareness within them. They don’t even have to be consciously looking for signs. Even if most of the signs are subtle, a woman will instantly become aware of your feelings at an unconscious level, even if consciously she doesn’t realize it at first. However, it won’t take her long to figure this out and give you your walking papers in very short order.
Now, while knowing body language may not help you much in disguising your stress or fear, there are some advantages to being aware of the body language of others in the dating world.
There are all sorts of books and magazine articles out there talking about techniques such as NLP and mirroring. You can even take classes on how to master these techniques in order to either intrepret or communicate the silent communication of the body.
But no matter how adept you get, if your self-confidence is low or non-existent, the only thing you will communicate is “I’m not worthy”.
