I just watched a show on the secrets of body language on the history channel and found the information fascinating. Researchers report that 93% of all communication is non-verbal. That’s right, only 7% of communication is based on our words, yet that’s what most of us focus on. The rest is through gesture, facial expression, pitch, tone of voice, body movement, and posture.
One of the most fascinating segments on the show was the segment based on analyzing politicians. This part was very interesting, especially when it showed world leaders jockeying for position in different scenarios.
When shaking hands, the hand on top or in front has more control. For this politicians jockey to be on the right so their hand is on top. And when one politician pats another on the back, the one patting has more power, so they maneuver to put themselves in position to be the one patting, or maneuver to make sure the other one can’t pat them on the back.
Did you know the last politican going through a door has the most power? They certainly know it. Video clips of politicans maneuvering to be last through a door was fascinating. In one video, Ehud Barak and Yasser Arafat almost started fist fighting over who was going to be last through a door.
If you are in sales, learning the secrets of body language is essential if you want to make more sales. There was an excellent section on selling. People buy not based on the product, they don’t even buy based on the data of the product. They buy based on how they feel about the salesman. If you are in sales, how do your customers feel about you?
If you are in sales you must have a genuine smile, and natural confidence but not over confidence or you’ll come across as arrogant. And you don’t want to appear distant.
Establishing rapport is crucial in politics and sales. Bill Clinton was great at establishing rapport. He had the classic charismatic factors such as likeability, power, and attractiveness. He was a powerhouse, coming across as very open with nothing to hide.
Knowing the secrets of body language is also essential if you want to be a great speaker. There are some things all great speakers do. First and foremost, every great speaker who speaks formally expresses from the heart. And their face, head, gestures, and body are in alignment to signify integrity. In another interesting video clip, it was interesting to note how these were not in alignment when Bill Clinton first addressed the “intern incident”.
Next time you are speaking, either in person or in an online video, don’t just focus on your words, focus on the other 93% of communication. Think about what your gestures, facial expression, tone of voice, and posture are conveying to your audience.
And now I would like to invite you to claim your FREE ACCESS to “15 Ways To Grow Your Business Online”. Just click here to send me a blank email and you’ll start receiving valuable information that can help you get more traffic to your website or blog and make more money from your visitors.
When we communicate with someone we will be doing so on a number of levels, not just the words that we use – tone of voice and body language are also important factors in non-verbal communication.
Eye contact – is one of the most powerful means of communication after words. It can be direct or indirect, long-lasting or short and more usually intermittent when talking to someone in normal conversation. Staring or holding eye contact for too long can make people feel uncomfortable and is unsettling. Appropriate eye contact is important for effective communication. People who like or feel comfortable with each other engage in eye contact more frequently. People who avoid eye contact are likely to be feeling uncomfortable, guilty or embarrassed.
Face – next on the list after the eyes. This is one of the first features we notice. By looking at someone’s face we can read their emotion. Small gestures like the eyebrow flash happen almost subconsciously when we greet people we are pleased to see or who we know. A smile can also work wonders when greeting someone for the first time. It can also be used to calm and help people to feel at ease. A genuine smile lights up the whole face including the eyes, a forced or nervous smile tends to stay around the mouth. Where someone looks when you talk to them can tell you which side of the brain they’re accessing and if they’re a visual, auditory or kinetic person.
Posture – has a lot to say about how a person feels about themselves and the person they’re with. Are they leaning in towards each other or away from each other? Mirroring someone’s posture is a good way to create rapport and will happen naturally in some situations. Try it out but don’t make it too obvious or it can be off-putting. What is the posture of someone who feels confident? How does someone sit/stand when they feel threatened or fearful? If you have to give a presentation and feel nervous – adopt a posture of confidence and think yourself into a positive mode. See what a difference it makes.
Hand gestures – particularly at the moment, we are exposed to the carefully managed gestures of politicians when giving their pre-election speeches. The use of hand gestures can be another interesting aspect of body language that show attitudes and emotions. An open palm signifies sincerity, openness. Steepling of the fingers is seen as authoritative, or used during negotiation when considering a proposal. Tapping or drumming the fingers shows impatience. Touching the face indicates thinking, the hair insecurity and the ears indecision.
Personal space – everyone has their own sense of personal space that we carry around with us. We should be aware of this personal space so that we don’t invade someone’s personal space uninvited. Invading someone’s personal space can seem threatening and the person will move away to a more comfortable distance. In crowded situations personal space is greatly reduced and other factors will come into account such as avoidance of eye contact and the use of defensive postures.
Body contact – the handshake is the most recognised form of body contact and used in greetings and farewells. A firm handshake is preferred in both men and women. A weak handshake shows either ineffectiveness, insincerity or reluctance. Bone crusher handshakes on the other hand are seen as aggressive or overly dominant. People brought up where body contact is a normal part of family life tend to be more positive and open than those with less. Always be aware and observe what is acceptable with an individual or for different cultures.
When interpreting body language you need to take into account all parts of the body. Changes in a person’s normal body language indicate a change in emotion or attitude. Don’t assume that because someone has their arms crossed they are being defensive, perhaps they really are just cold! Look at all the different signals before interpreting the final message – at least three to four.
Fun Exercise: Watch people’s body language when you’re next in a position to observe. How close are they? How much eye contact is there? Can you tell if they know/like each other? Are they strangers or friends? See how much of the conversation you can guess from observing people’s body language.
Copyright 2005: Clare Evans
Many people know how important body language is in effective persuasion and communications. Thus, when you’re trying to emphasize a certain point or idea, simply saying how enthused you are with an event is not enough.
For instance, if a friend came to you and told you news about his promotion, saying something like “That’s wonderful news!” with a rather blank expression runs the risk of the other person getting the impression that you’re just pulling his leg and talking through your teeth.
In order to express your statements fully, you need to accompany your expressions and comments with the right kind of body language. According to experts on the art of body language interpretation, there are two things you should keep in mind.
First, to emphasize a point, you need to apply body language that is concurrent with the statement. Second, you need to hyperbolize a bit.
For example, if you want to stress how large the lot you’re selling is, you can further drive the point home by stretching your arms out really wide while saying something like, “The property is so vast (stretch arms out wide) that you can practically build a house with a basketball court and pool there.” Using metaphors with body language works better.
You can shake or nod your head to react to an idea or event, take huge steps to show excitement, pound your fist on the desk and stomp your foot if you need to show a little aggression, and change your facial expressions according to the need.
Of course, not all body language have to be blatant to be effective. Sometimes, subtlety works a lot better, especially if you’re trying to convince someone to buy what you’re selling. Subtle body movements include cupping your palms and leaning forward to show you are serious, crossing your arms over your chest to signify that you’re not understanding the other party’s claims, and inclining your head to one side to reflect wonder.
To illustrate, you will know if the person you are talking to is losing interest in what you’re saying if he starts looking at his watch, shaking his leg, or tapping his foot. Shifty eyes are also an indicator of boredom, though it can also mean that the person is lying in another situation.
Indeed, communication is not just characterized by words. Body movements say a lot about what you are thinking at that particular moment; so if you’re a very transparent person, it’s not likely that you’ll be able to hide anything. It’s a different situation when you’re playing poker though.
