Male and female courtship signals have been studied, and the basic conclusions are that these signals are completely unconscious. The more you consciously understand the signals, the better and more successful you will be when courting the object of your desire, whether it is the man or woman of your dreams.
To master the art of successful flirting, you have to feel good about yourself first. Be confident. Be yourself, or else you will look deceitful or desperate. Flirting can be utilized in just about anything, not just in attracting the opposite sex, but also in attaining just about anything you want in your life. This can be described as good flirting. Good flirting should be done with a precise understanding of what you really want, coupled with positive sensations.
Here are their tips on how you can put good flirting to your advantage:
1. Don’t worry about whether you are making a good impression or not. Instead, analyze how you can make the other person feel good. By doing this, you will get the feedback you are expecting. Soon you will make the connection.
2. Flirting can help you make friends or impress a client if you make yourself approachable. Put a smile on your face, as it gives you an aura of being friendly.
3. Remember that you cannot attract people just by sitting or standing like a statue. There will be instances when you will encounter a person who gets a little bit too close for comfort feel, or someone who makes you feel you are already invading privacy. No matter what you do, you would get a so-called “vacuum” reaction. Tough one, huh? You can avoid this by using gentle moves and by calibrating the person’s reactions to you. Be aware of these signals: mouths get larger, the lips swell, eyes widen, pupils dilate, skin flushes and changes color, muscles around the mouth move, among others.
4. Be persistent. Flirting works best when you are patient. By being such, you will have room for improvement if at first you aren’t getting the results you want. If you fail the first time, do it again the second time, third time, just keep trying. Try different approaches until you realize what will really work best for you. If you were rejected, don’t give up. This goes with the sayings, “To err is human” and “Nobody’s perfect.”
5. This is probably for me the most interesting and somehow funniest tip I got: “Practice in the mirror, only then can you make it perfect!” This is especially true in meeting friends and prospects, because flirting may involve unwanted actions and attention which can put you in the bad light. You may be spontaneous in your actions, but you can’t guard yourself if you are already overdoing it, and I supposed you don’t want to be in that situation. Try practicing with your close friends and ask for feedback.
6. Make the first move! Opportunities knock only once, so if you want something or even someone, go for it, now! Let go of your inhibitions. But remember to apply positive or good flirting. Who knows if the person you meet at that moment is your gateway towards the fulfillment of your dreams.
Let Your Body Language Do The Flirting
Do you know why some people seem to have an easier time attracting the opposite sex? Here’s what you can to do in order to catch the eye of your Honey Bunch.
1. Smile sincerely and frequently. In his article “The Six Don Juan Commandments of Body Language,” Allen Thompson wrote that smiling is “The simplest, most obvious, and most powerful of the body language commandments.” He also mentions that “Smiling conveys, both instantly and clearly, many wonderful things about yourself. Smiling demonstrates confidence, friendliness, a positive attitude, a good mood, and it gives the impression that you’re someone who is, most likely, fun to be with. It’s also very difficult to ignore.”
2. Have a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at petty matters. People love to be with those who can turn any situation into a funny setting.
3. Maintain eye contact. Your eyes are probably the most expressive parts of your body. When you look at your dear one constantly, you are expressing your sincere intentions. Eye contact also establishes a bond between two persons. They would naturally feel more comfortable in each other’s company.
4. Nod your head. By nodding, you signify your approval and you encourage the other party to continue talking. You give reassurance that your loved one is doing ok.
5. Be open, physically. Do not cross your arms across the chest or hold obstructive objects (such as a food) between the two of you. Put your hands on your sides (and if possible put your palms up) to convey openness.
Learning to meet women is possibly the most essential part of dating. Why is this? Its simple – if you never learn how to meet women, you will never get a date, have a relationship, have sex or get married. Its like learning to crawl before you learn to walk – learn the art of approaching women and your dating life will have a one hundred percent turn around.
So what are the keys to learning to meet women successfully? Some of the essential components include learning to read the female body language in order to gauge whether or not your approach is likely to be successful, training your own inner game to relay confidence, ways to promote conversation, how to use flirtation to augment attraction – to name a few.
The first key – learning to read the female body language – is especially important and is possibly one of the simplest things to learn. Many men over the years have realized that women tend to say one thing and mean another. This is not necessarily an attempt at deception – in fact, it is generally done out of complete ignorance of the true source of her own feelings. For instance – a woman may say she likes men who are tall. You are only 5′4″ – but don’t count yourself out. Why does she like tall men? Not necessarily because they have to duck to get in the car. It could be that tall men make her feel safe and protected. At 5′4″, can you do the same? Of course you can. Pay attention to her body language to find out what it is she wants.
On great way to get a glimpse of what a woman really wants is to pay attention to her eyes. Want a really simple way to see if a woman is open to an approach? Check out this little golden nugget:
The next time you go out, anywhere, make an effort to make eye contact with every attractive woman you see. I don’t mean fleeting eye contact, ducking your head with a nervous guffaw and turning away. Look into her eyes until she returns your gaze. When you have her attention and your eyes are locked, smile and raise your eyebrows at her.
If she smiles back, holds eye contact for a little longer, and looks away in that embarrassed manner that most women do when they start feeling attraction, then keeps looking back at you, guess what? She’s open to you meeting her!
On the other hand, if she displays no expression and looks away quickly, or of course displays some other disdainful expression or irritation, you would be wasting your time to approach her and get rejected.
Remember – learning to approach women will skyrocket your dating success, so quit being a wallflower and get out there and meet some girls today!
Many people will tell you that what bothers them most during conversations is not the topic, but the attitude of the person they have conversed with. This predicament ends up to be the reason why friendships become superficial. As a result, one of you becomes either pushy or lifeless. Proper assertive behavior and body language, aside from possessing assertive communication skills, are therefore necessary in developing happy relationships.
Winning Friends
The right attitude to be able to win friends is to be more assertive. Being assertive is actually just your ability to stand up for yourself, tackle issues face to face, state your own personal views, and defend others when they are being taken advantage of. Contrary to what you may think, being assertive is very much different from being bossy and overbearing.
Getting Promoted
Assertiveness is actually a good thing. Without it, you inevitably hold back in your career and your personal life. If you are usually compared to another one of your co-workers because the two of you have similar levels of experience and skills, then it is more likely that the more assertive one is rewarded with the promotion.
It is natural that some people are more assertive than others; whether you are part of the former or the latter, it does not matter. What matters is that you get to learn assertive behavior, which ensures you are in the path for new opportunities.
For you to be assertive, you have to keep in mind the effects of positive body language. It is not difficult, actually. You just need to show the person you are talking to that you are attentive and that you truly care about whatever topic it is that you are discussing.
Eye-to-eye Contact
When in a conversation, you have to do everything you can to maintain eye-to-eye contact. It is believed that your eyes are the windows to your soul. Therefore, for you to be able to achieve a heartfelt and productive conversation, you have to show the other party your undivided attention.
You must not, under any circumstances, look around while the other person is talking. You have to always make sure that the person you’re talking to sees that you are truly participating in your conversation by listening intently, while maintaining eye-to-eye contact.
Leaning Forward
For you to be able to further express that you are, in fact, approaching your conversation with respect and attention, you may lean forward. Leaning forward is a gesture that shows that you want to hear more and would want the other party to expound on what he or she has just said.
Of course, leaning backward is the opposite. It proves that you are only engaging yourself in the conversation because you have to, and not because you truly care about what is bothering the other party.
You have to prevent yourself from being pushy in your newfound relationship. You must not force your opinions and beliefs on the other party if he or she radically believes otherwise. Just let things be, accept them as how they are.
Just be assertive. Taking the initiative of beginning a conversation, or in stating your views without pushing them to the other party, is the right way for a productive and effective conversation. Do not worry about giving the other party an image that you are overly confident; for being assertive is not only about being confident, it is also about understanding other people and the empathy that you give them.
Indeed, it has been observed and proven that body language has a huge part when it comes to being assertive. Body language shows the other party that you are attentive to what he or she is saying. It is not all about looking good and speaking for yourself. It is also about making other people more comfortable when they talk and express their personal thoughts with you.
Dating: The Body Language Game
Copyright (c) 2007 Kelly Liyakasa
Kelly Liyakasa is a staff writer for 6StarReviews.com. Kelly Staller is site manager at 6StarReviews.com, a site dedicated to giving YOU, the consumer, the best product and service reviews around. If you like saving time and money by having someone else review leading sites and products, then Visit our site at 6StarReviews.com.
So you’re about to head out on a blind date with your aunt’s neighbor’s friend’s son. Supposedly he’s good looking and has a stable job. He votes, likes kids and even volunteers at your local animal shelter, or so you’ve heard. Sounds like the perfect guy!
The Date:
The two of you decide to go to a local Japanese restaurant because you hear he has a special place in his heart for California rolls. Before you show up, you spend three hours mercilessly prepping your makeup, hair and outfit in the bathroom. As you walk into the sushi joint, you see your date and he gives you a warm smile, shakes your hand and looks you in the eye. How can you read into his body language for the remainder of the night to tell if you two match?
Eye Contact:
It’s often said that the eyes are the window into someone else’s soul. This is partly true. People who are interested in each other tend to make eye contact and hold it for a few seconds. Don’t stare, though! Ever been in a situation where a woman you were disinterested in stared you down, batting her eyelashes? It makes you uneasy being scrutinized, especially when you just don’t feel the same attraction.
Signs He Likes You:
Men tend to be more physical and often play fight and touch their lady friends’ arms. If your date seems to touch your arm during conversation, it could be a sign he’s interested. After all, when you don’t like someone, you’re not going to grab their arm. Men also lean forward in their seats when they are enthralled in someone or something. You know how he sits at the edge of his seat during a Giants game or The Terminator? It’s because he likes it.
Same with you. One of the top signs he has feelings for you is he calls you! Ok, so he might text you a lot to, but a guy that wants to take things further with you will find any excuse he can to give you a ring. And it won’t be after a week.
Signs She Likes You:
She may play with her hair or primp herself in other ways to get you to notice her. If she’s dressed to impress and keeps playing with her brand-new skirt, chances are she wants you to notice her. Women also tend to highlight their best physical features. For example, if a girl loves the way her smile and eyes look, she may lean forward and rest her chin in her hands.
She may also ask you what you like to do in your free time, a dead giveaway. She’s figuring out what potential dates lie ahead for the both of you! Also, if she tells you she likes your shirt or cologne, she’s probably interested. Women usually compliment their girlfriends more than guys, so if she extends a compliment, it’s a good sign.
Don’t Generalize:
Not all men and women are carbon copies of each other, so you really can’t generalize patterns of attraction. An outgoing guy who doesn’t like you “that way” may play fight with every woman he meets. Similarly, just because she twirls her hair around her finger, it may not mean she thinks you’re Mr. Right. Maybe she just bought a new conditioner she’s in love with.
One alternative to navigating the body language game is to find love online. Reading dating online reviews can be a great start in scoping out the right service for your personality.
6StarReviews.com reports that one dating service, True, even lets daters fill out compatibility profiles so body language can factor into your relationship after you meet someone you already have a connection with.
This saves you embarrassment, heartbreak and from having to ask your buddies what she meant when she said she never wants to see you again. The next time you’re on a date, think of how nice it would be if you already knew the person’s personality, goals and pet peeves like the back of your hand.
